lwj’s sexual awakening was not wwx. he has always been extremely kinky and hypersexual since he first started puberty. However, due to his own hyper-serious and solemn sense of duty and obedience, the general rigidity of Gusu and its rules, and the danger of being lost to a hereditary weakness for obsession and lust as demonstrated by his father, he does his best to never act on it, and to punish himself whenever he does slip. To some extent it feels to him like the gift of strict training —- if he didn’t have strong urges or depraved lusts and fantasies to struggle against in the first place, he would have been deprived of the rigor needed to develop his inner strength and control.
I’d like to see him from early teenage-hood to as far into the future as the filler wants to go, at least up until he meets wwx but as far through or post canon is also good. just something with lwj thinking about this part of himself, being confronted with temptations, often controlling himself, sometimes failing and giving in to his temptations, and sometimes, after wwx’s death and his punishment, even deliberately dropping any attempt to rein himself in.
Optional things that would be GREAT: lwj having fantasies that may or may not be dark but are definitely shockingly hardcore (eg involving sadomasochism or extreme d/s, sexswaps, intense humiliation, degradation, or objectification, noncon, gore or snuff), underage experimentation, blaming himself/being blamed for being subjected to statutory rape as a young teenager because he was into it, slutshaming and kinkshaming, judgment and being called crazy by other people who notice aspects of it, dealing with waking from the library rape dream from the incense chapters, extreme and possibly dangerous promiscuity during wwx’s death, tipping over into self-harm on some occasions, self-punishment and self-blame of a ‘i failed to control myself to comport myself with honor and dignity/abide by my clan principles’ flavor, being aroused by his branding of himself/his whipping scars/even the whipping itself; intimate, understanding, serious conversations and explanations about it with wwx once they get together.
Things i DONT want: self-blame/guilt of a ‘i shouldn’t be having these desires or thoughts in the first place’ flavor, narrow persistent focus on only a couple specific fetishes, wangxian being vanilla once they get to that point.
lan zhan has actually always been kinky and oversexed [possible underage, noncon, gore, self-harm]
I’d like to see him from early teenage-hood to as far into the future as the filler wants to go, at least up until he meets wwx but as far through or post canon is also good. just something with lwj thinking about this part of himself, being confronted with temptations, often controlling himself, sometimes failing and giving in to his temptations, and sometimes, after wwx’s death and his punishment, even deliberately dropping any attempt to rein himself in.
Optional things that would be GREAT: lwj having fantasies that may or may not be dark but are definitely shockingly hardcore (eg involving sadomasochism or extreme d/s, sexswaps, intense humiliation, degradation, or objectification, noncon, gore or snuff), underage experimentation, blaming himself/being blamed for being subjected to statutory rape as a young teenager because he was into it, slutshaming and kinkshaming, judgment and being called crazy by other people who notice aspects of it, dealing with waking from the library rape dream from the incense chapters, extreme and possibly dangerous promiscuity during wwx’s death, tipping over into self-harm on some occasions, self-punishment and self-blame of a ‘i failed to control myself to comport myself with honor and dignity/abide by my clan principles’ flavor, being aroused by his branding of himself/his whipping scars/even the whipping itself; intimate, understanding, serious conversations and explanations about it with wwx once they get together.
Things i DONT want: self-blame/guilt of a ‘i shouldn’t be having these desires or thoughts in the first place’ flavor, narrow persistent focus on only a couple specific fetishes, wangxian being vanilla once they get to that point.
Novel or cql.